The down side of....

trying.... and by trying I mean trying to conceive. Ya I know I said we weren't really trying we were just going to stop preventing and start trying in a few months...but that didn't work. I like/want babies to much to really do that.

The downside is you can't talk to anyone about it really. All the symptoms of pregnancy can easily be attributed to other things but once you mention "man I am just starving" or "I had the WEIRDEST dream last night" your friend automatically jumps to "your pregnant!" and then you get your hopes up...and then your not and your disappointed.

Here are the symptoms of pregnancy:

-Hungry more often
-Tired more often
-Weird dreams
-Chest hurts
-Your late....

Hungry more often? Sometimes your metabolism changes and your just hungrier. Also it just being your time makes you hungrier.

Tired more often? Well if your working a lot you would be more tired. Or if you are working out a lot you could/would be more tired.

Weird dreams? Can be caused by working too much, not eating/drinking enough or even not sleeping enough.

Chest hurts? Most girls I know chest hurts during their regular cycle. So knowing whether your chest hurts because your pregnant or its that time....who knows

and your late...the tall tale sign for most women that your pregnant. Unfortunately for those like me who are irregular...that does not mean anything. My poor app on my phone cant even guess when I am ovulating because I am so irregular. Some months 5 days late, some 7, some 4 days early. One big mess.

So when you have all these symptoms it is hard enough not to get your hopes up each month in preparation of the negative test without telling anyone. But as soon as you mention something to someone, they jump to pregnancy and because someone else has confirmed your hope...it makes it almost impossible to not hope that you are pregnant.

We have only been trying for about 5 months. I have had these symptoms each month...and even taken a few tests and all have been coming up negative. I have always felt bad for those women who have to go through years of trying before getting a miracle or unfortunately never getting that miracle but even after 5 months of this I am starting to truly understand their pain. I am hoping I wont have to go down the same path they do...but this stinks. Not being able to talk to anyone...someone, regarding what is going on without getting your hopes up and then ultimately being disappointed  is awful. Plus you don't want to get your friends/family hopes up either.

So in this whole process you are by yourself until that miracle finally...hopefully happens.