30 Day Project/Challenge: Day 4

Day 4:

1) Something you have to forgive someone for

This is really hard for me. Being so stumped by this question has been part of the reason why this is a couple days late (the other parts relate to snow and Christmas). My goal with this was to be really honest about myself and since I couldn't immediately come up with an answer (whether I liked it or not) I wanted to take a bit to really think about it. I can't think of ANYTHING. I do not hold grudges. I HATE grudges. I do believe people make mistakes and can change and that their past should not be held against them. I know I am not the same person that I was in High School and would hate it if my classmates were still holding grudges against whatever I may have done (I am not perfect, I don't think I have done anything to make anyone upset or mad or at least stuff that I haven't already apologized for and resolved, but who knows) in the past. I am also a believer that you cannot move past something if you haven't forgiven that person and given up your grudge against them. To me holding a grudge is exactly the same as not forgiving them. If you haven't moved past it you are, to an extent, letting them control your life which is not right. The only person who should be controlling your life is yourself and God if you are of the religious mindset. Definitely not another person and let alone a person you are mad at. Now I am not saying that you should be friends with someone who has hurt you past your breaking point of friendship. Forgiving someone is not the same as forgetting. Don't forget, just forgive...it makes your life so much easier and you will live longer.

Stating that, there are people in my life who have hurt me. I don't think anyone can say that they have never been hurt by someone. About 99% of the time I forgive/forget/move past things VERY quickly. One of my classmates in HS always said I was like a duck, I let things roll off my back like water rolls off a ducks back. Instantly. There are very few people who I have had a hard time forgiving but I always have. Things happen at work that I appear to get over MUCH quicker then some of my co-workers. Not that they handled it wrong or should have been able to forgive/move on faster, it is just a difference between us. Things happen in friendships that have been forgotten/moved on from very quickly. Holding a grudge is just a waste of time

My ability to quickly forgive/move on has many positives to it. Fights/issues that would have ended most relationships haven't ended mine. Heck fights/issues haven't even happened because as soon as something has happened (intentional or unintentional) I have forgiven and moved past it with the other person involved, more often then not, not even realizing he/she did something to upset me. This ability does have drawbacks as well. I have forgiven and forgot that forgiving doesn't mean forgetting and therefore prolonged relationships that should have just ended. It also has led to me not standing up for myself for the sake of keeping peace. I need to stick up for myself more. It has also lead to a general feeling of resentment, sometimes, of always having to be the wrong one in arguments that have happened as I was the one who backed down first to "save" the friendship. It also led to me feeling like I am the only one who has any understanding or ability to forgive in a relationship. I have to, and usually do, understand their side so I back down and forgive them for whatever they have done but since no one ever seems to back down and let me be "right", no one is bothering to understand me. Also by backing down I have felt like the other party never fully forgave me so in future disagreements I am always afraid they are going to bring something up from the past that I thought was resolved and had moved past. This just leads to me backing down and forgiving even quicker to avoid this.

These feelings are fleeting and only really surface when I am mad at a friend and haven't moved past it yet. Outside of that I don't think about them unless asked and I am sure most of this is just inside my head. I am sure that my true friends forgive and understand me just as much as I do them. I do not think, or at least I hope they aren't, people are still holding grudges against me for the mistakes I have made. And as I get older, every once in awhile, there is someone who backs down and honestly forgives me faster then I can forgive them.

So for someone who doesn't have anyone to forgive, this got long huh?

2) A photo of a place you'd like to visit

Well I would love to go back to all the countries and places I have visited except for Savannah, Ga and Mexico. You have all basically seen the pictures of everything I have been too so I will not reshow those. What fun would that be? There lots of places I would like to go to so I will try to keep it short and list the countries I would like to visit as a whole

France: they call me Rachelle

Scotland: men in quilts ooo la la! ETA: Kilts not quilts though that would be funny

Alaska, I would like to go to TONS of places in the US but especially Alaska

Germany: Beer and Brats yum!

Canada: Lumberjacks and Moose are a great combo

Poland: Pierogi's and Kielbasa yum!

I could go on, I can't really think of a place I really do not want to go to. but I would say these six are in my top 6 places that I really don't expect to get to without actual planning. Most of the places in the US I could theoretically see especially if/when we move. As we live in towns/states we will explore what is near us at the time before flying some where else. This way if we end up moving again we have at least seen what was close to us. Hence why we have toured Florida, Georgia, Virginia and North Carolina and haven't visited Nebraska for example. I do not expect to ever live in Alaska so that would be a planned trip. There are lots of things within each country I would like to do.

Fort the list I provided here:

-France: skip Paris and visit the country side
-Scotland: spend a little time in each major city
-Germany: Berlin wall, WWII sites and restaurants
-Canada: Vancouver, Quebec, PEI, Toronto, Ontario especially Niagara Falls
-Poland: WWII sites and restaurants